


For Blue Skies

by littleZprites191



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind AU, Eventual Smut, M/M, Steve Rogers Feels, Stony - Freeform, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, humor?, i dont know how good i am at writing humor, not sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-07 01:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleZprites191/pseuds/littleZprites191
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony both undergo a procedure to erase their memories of one another. Soon after, they meet again by chance, falling in love once again. Will their repressed memories continue to haunt them of the love they have lost, or will they be lost forever? No superpowers. Eternal Sunshine AU.  Based on the song 'For Blue Skies' by Strays Don't Sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good-Bye Tony

**Author's Note:**

> For Blue Skies video: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4xJQjj7dwIc
> 
> So, advanced apology! The first two chapters are written kind of differently than normal writing is, just keep in mind that they are losing their memories.... 
> 
> Anyways! Enjoy! :3

Steve stormed out of his rusty, red pick-up truck, almost forgetting to close the door due to the frustration clouding his senses. The pitch-black night sky caused his pupils to dilate as he sat on the hood of his truck. The moon was covered by an infinite strand of clouds and the only source of light came from the dim streetlamp a few feet away and the occasional passing of headlights. He ran both hands down the sides of his face, feeling the slight scruff that began to grow back, and settled them on the back of his head. The events from earlier that night played out in his mind.

As he let out a frustrated sigh, he felt the hope seep out of him. He recalled all the past attempts, all the times he’d tried to make Tony understand, but every time it had devolved to argument, which then inescapably regressed to sheer semantics. He struggled to recall every instance that led to a battlefield, but it all muddled together.

Steve looked up at the cloudy, night sky, thinking to himself. His thoughts were chasing each other while he tried to figure out what he should do. He knew that he couldn't continue going on like this.

Wake up, bicker, go to work, try to forget, go home, bicker, sleep, repeat.

He held back a sob that threatened it's way up his throat. He loved Tony. He would do anything and everything possible to fix their relationship that was falling through the cracks of their fingers. Steve knew that he couldn't go on with this relationship.

Feeling the familiar sensation of worthlessness creep back into his soul, he stared up at the black sky. He searched, but found no answers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He recalled all the past attempts, all the times he’d tried to make Tony understand, but every time it had devolved to argument, which then inescapably regressed to sheer semantics.

Tony rammed his left fist against the wall closest to him after he saw the taillights drive away from the house to an unknown location. He ignored the throbbing as he felt a few tears slowly slide down his face. He ignored them, knowing that crying would not help the situation he was currently in. Nothing would.

No, he had to stay positive. He knows it's all his fault, well not all his fault. He knew that he could not be fully at fault, how could he be? He's Tony Stark, the mechanical engineer, the billionaire. He knew he was the best, why else would he be here?

The tears dried and inspected the damage he had done to his left fist. After clenching his hand several times, he decided against seeking any medical attention. He crossed the spacious living room to the leather couch where he plopped down, throwing his arms over his eyes.

Every damn time they were together, it ended in screaming, loud accusations, and one of them walking out on the other. He knew he had to do something. But, what could he do? He racked his brain, searching for an answer that he knew he could not find. Sighing, he began to think that it was better if they never met. He was tired of hurting Steve. Why plan to hurt those you love, when Tony automatically does that without any intention?

Tony only wanted one thing, to start everything over. He knew Steve would be happier with someone other than himself, so why did Steve constantly come back? He wouldn't have to deal with Tony's bullshit and argue so much that they both couldn't remember all the joyous times they spent together. When was the last time he saw Steve smile?

Groaning, mentally kicked himself for the hundredth time in the past five minutes. Of course Steve would be better off without him.

...

...

He knew what he had to do.

His good friend, Bruce, knew a few people working on a procedure, where they successfully erase certain memories. If he could somehow convince them to allow him to undergo this operation, then the pain could stop.

He could leave it all.

Forget it all.

Forget.

Forg-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tony, you can't be serious about doing this to Steve-"

"Bruce, shut up. I have everything arranged. I have people moving his things at my place over to his apartment. I know what I'm doing. How much will it cost? $500,000?"

"Umm, only $480,000. But, Tony, listen to m-"

"Tell your friend I want the first available slot. I'll even pay more if it means getting in within the next twenty-four hours."

"You do realize that Steve will still remember you if you ever run into each other?"

"Look, Bruce, at this point in my life, I need to take care of myself. This entails having my memories erased of Steve so that he won't have to deal with my bullshit anymore. This way I won't bother him. It's the best thing to do... for the both of us..."

"There are unknown side-effects tha-"

"Goddamnit Bruce, I love him! I just want to be out of his life! I want him to be happy!"

"Fine..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The same empty feeling in his heart awoke Tony. He sighed, getting used to waking up at the god-awful early hours of the morning for the past three weeks. The sun was just rising over the horizon as Tony got out of bed and headed straight for the ever-present bottle of expensive liquor on his dresser. Taking a few gulps, he felt the burning sensation slide down his throat and into his abdomen, warming him up instantly.

Continuing with his routine, he set down the bottle, threw on a pair of swim trunks, and grabbed a towel before heading out to the beach that was right in his backyard. He walked along the dock and stopped at the end, looking out into the vast sea. The sky was painted in pastels as the clouds began to break away. Tony stood there, staring out into the ocean, not knowing that he dropped his towel onto the deck in the process.

This is where he belonged. The only thing that made him feel whole. Well, besides getting drunk, but after a harsh verbal lashing from his doctor last week, he's been avoiding obscene amounts of alcohol.

He pushed aside all other thoughts and lived in the moment. After basking in the beauty of the ocean for a few more minutes, he dived into the cool seawater.


	2. Good-Bye Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Blue Skies Video: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4xJQjj7dwIc
> 
> Now it's Steve's turn!  
> *Gosh I'm realizing how small my paragraphs are! Sorry if that annoys anyone, but I like spacing ^-.-*

Steve was fine when Tony basically kicked him out, having all of his belongings delivered to their rightful place in his own apartment from Tony's loft. He was a bit pissed off at first, but soon realized that it would be best for the both of them to take a break from one another. After not speaking to Tony for a week, he began to grow worried. He called up Bruce, Tony's closest friend, and shared his concerns. "I'm sorry, Steve", was all the man could mutter before hanging up.

Sighing, Steve decided to take a walk in an attempt to clear his mind. He threw on a pair of sneakers and headed out of his apartment. Going down the spiral stairs down the hall from his front door, he noticed the familiar buzz of the city street nearby. Once he reached the ground bellow, he began to walk aimlessly.

He missed Tony.

The numbness in his chest grew throughout his entire being. Tony was he only one that took away the pain he continually buried deep inside of himself. He kept going back to Tony because he made him strong.

Steve sighed. He knew that holding onto someone was not good for his mental health. He just couldn't bring himself to let Tony walk out of his life so abruptly. Not again...

Once brought out of his train of thought, he found himself in front of the local bar that stood down the street from his apartment complex. Good. He needed a drink.

Or three.

Steve entered the run-down, wooden building and felt a wave of nostalgia sweep through his body. The scent surrounding him reminded him of the many nights he and Tony would fight while the other man was in a drunken stupor. As he made his way down to the empty seat at the end of the bar, his mind began to cloud. He couldn't even remember a time when they were happy together. He knew those times existed, but it was so long ago.

He ordered his usual drink, a gin and tonic, and began to drown out his surroundings, giving his undivided attention to the current football game on the screen slightly to the left of him. Steve was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice the influx of people coming into the bar. It was only when someone elbowed him, causing his drink to slip from his hand and shatter on the floor, did he become aware of his surroundings.

"Oh, hey. I'm really sorry about that!"

That voice...

Steve looked up and saw the man he fell in love with years ago. His heart leapt at the sight of his lover, but he began to feel the anger slowly bubble up.

"Here, let me get you another... Gin and tonic?"

Steve was barely able to nod when another alcoholic beverage was set in front of him. He began to register what was going on in that current moment. Did Tony even recognize him?

"I'm Tony Stark, by the way. You've probably heard of me. Billionaire, philanthropist, celebrity mechanical engineer..."

...

What is going on?

"Tony! You promised me a great evening alone with me!"

A curvy blonde bounded up to Tony and wrap her arms around his shoulders

Steve had to get out of here. He couldn't think straight.

"Umm, thanks for the drink, but I was just heading out."

He got up and left the bar without looking back at Tony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bruce, what the hell happened to Tony?!"

Steve rushed home while speaking to the one person he believed would have a clue as to what just occurred back at the bar.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I couldn't stop him. He got his memories of you erased"

Steve's world spun.

"He said it would be better for the both of you, that he wouldn't be a constant bother to you."

God fucking dammit Tony!

"Steve, are you alright?"

He hung up, not knowing what else to do. Tony didn't remember Steve, because he chose to get his memories of him erased.

Steve felt the familiar heavy feeling that settled in his chest from time to time as his eyes began to water. He knew Tony was an idiot, but he didn't think he would go this far... Erasing memories. Is that even possible?!

Did Tony even care about him? If he did, he would know that there were better options that would help their relationship. Maybe Tony finally realized that he could do better than date Steve. He just left because he was tired of Steve's constant idea that he didn't deserve Tony.

He didn't deserve anyone...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Steve, I'm sorry to hear about this, but you know I'm not good at this kind of stuff. I do know that he did truly love you. Anybody could have realized that. I understand that you're scared and confused, but at this point, I think you should follow your heart. Don't count on me to tell you what you should do all the time. Whatever choice you make, I will back you up one hundred percent of the way..."

"Natasha, I'm going to do it... I just, can't- Maybe... No, I can't continue like this. Just, explain everything to Sam and them, okay?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

White coats. Equipment beeping. Sterilized air.

"We're going to put you under now, Mr. Rogers."

Stillness.

Serenity.

One thing continued to rip him apart inside...

Tony paid for two procedures...

Like he knew...

Steve would follow...

On the road...

To forget...


	3. Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for sticking with this story! I am not responsible for any feelings you may experience while reading this fic, mainly because there's a lot of angst coming up.... Sorry!

_**It's Been a Long Year...** _

Steve woke up to the sound of the alarm clock on his bedside table, announcing that it was time to face another day. He rolled over, turned off the alarm, and lay there on his stomach. His mind was swimming with a sense of grogginess, knowing that he would need a couple of minutes to get his body inline with his intentions.

Steve felt the familiar hole swell up inside of his chest.

_Shit..._

He reached towards the nightstand and picked up his prescription.

_Double shit..._

Tossing the empty bottle in the general direction of the trashcan, he sighed.

This has been going on too long. The emptiness. Loneliness. Steve knew something wasn't right, but he could never figure it out. Not wanting to go to work at all, he curled up on his bed and burrowed himself deeper into the multitude of blankets surrounding him. He just wanted to disappear. Just only for a day. Nobody would notice. He drifted back off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Steve pedaled as fast as his younger self could. The dirt that was kicked up by his bike was filling his lungs, causing him to cough occasionally from the lack of clean air. He breathed heavily as he continued riding._

_He didn't know where he was going. He just knew that something wasn't right._

_He screeched to a halt, a rusty chain link fence barring his path. Getting off his bike, he was able to catch his breath. Steve brushed his blonde hair back into its place and moved toward the fence. He noticed the lock, which was what was keeping him from biking forward._

_He looked past the fence and noticed a figure in the distance. The figure also seemed to be riding a bike, just going around in circles. Occasionally, Steve would see the front tire lift off the ground for a quick moment while the rider did a wheelie._

_Steve didn't like the loneliness. He never had._

_He worked on the lock, trying to figure out a way to unravel the chain it was attached to. Serving no justice for himself, he gave up, knowing he would never open it._

_Steve looked back out at the figure, still riding about on the opposite side of the fence. Smiling, he sat down on the dirt ground, watching the small amount of tricks the other knew._

_In the pleasant heat and the slight breeze, Steve felt comfortable for the first time in a long time. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the silence that seemed to flow through his entire being._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of 'Sexy Back' awoke Steve. He looked over at his ringing phone that was plugged in on his nightstand. Groaning, he unraveled himself from his comfortable position and grabbed his phone. He answered soon after glancing at the caller ID.

"What's up Sam?" he asked, lying spread eagle on his back.

"Hey Steve! I was wondering if you could do a huge favor... wait, you're at work."

"No, I'm not... What do you need me to do?" he asked, mentally slapping himself because he didn't want to get out of bed for anything. 

There was a moment of hesitation from Sam. 

"Ummm, so you know about that security conference I told you about?" 

"Yes, you are leaving today for it." Steve looked at the clock. "You're getting on in about two and a half hours, right?" 

Sam chuckled. "Always observant there, Steve. I forgot something very important that I need to bring with me at my place. I was wondering if you could swing by there and pick it up for me, that would be very appreciated, being that you're saving me from being skinned." 

Steve thought about that. Sam's skin hanging above a fireplace as an old mob boss sat in an overused chair, drinking hot tea and smoking a cigar. He shuddered. Why would he even think of that?! 

"Steve?" 

Sam brought him out of his trance, thank god. 

"Uhh, yeah sure! Just tell me where it's at and I'll be over there in about 45 minutes." 

The two men shared their farewells, leaving Steve yet again with his thoughts. 

He thought about going into work after the airport, but decided against it, knowing that ultimately he would gain nothing from going there. Getting up and throwing on a pair of jeans, he was reminded of the painting he was currently working on. Steve mentally hit himself. Of course he would make a stupid decision like this; like leaving all of his works in progress at his office, at his work, on the school campus, which is where he is avoiding at all costs. 

He left his townhouse with his bag over his shoulder, going into his rusty, red truck and began his drive to Sam's apartment. The air of loneliness followed him, reminding him how prominent the sense had been as of recent. His thoughts strayed onto his good friend, Sam; how he had his life together. Steve only had his work and hardly any social life. His only friends were Sam and Natasha, both of which were pretty busy with their own careers and social lives. They were always in touch with their emotions, knowing exactly what each situation called for. 

Why couldn't he be like that? He deserved just as much as they did. He deserved a happy life. One without this depression following him around constantly. Maybe he wanted too much? Maybe this is what he is meant to do the rest of his life; wallow in his self-pity, hating himself every second while he teaches art to a bunch of adolescents. 

There's got to be more for him though. 

Whatever it was, Steve was afraid. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to handle it. Afraid he would fail. Afraid that whatever he did to help himself would be for nothing. 

Steve knew that he could not live like this any longer. He knew he should talk to someone about this, but, what was the point? Who would want to help him? Why would he even attempt to help himself? Why bother to keep trying? Nobody cared, not even himself. There probably wasn't a single person out there who would want to help him. He was in too deep. 

His truck began to slow down, soon coming to a complete stop on the side of the road. Of course Steve's truck would break down. He sighed, looking at his surroundings. He could see Sam's place a little ways down the road. He locked his truck and headed down the street, pulling out his phone from his bag to call the local cab company. 

It just kept getting worse for him, but he refused to let it show. He walked with his head up while inside, he was dying. 

Steve held on to the ledge while the water rose over the edges... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Since We Last Spoke..._ **

Tony pulled up to the airport parking lot, noticing the sky up above turning a dark grey, indicating an oncoming storm. Sighing, he got out of his car and opened his trunk to grab his suitcase, which was basically an overnight bag. He checked his phone, seeing that Sam sent him a text. 

'Cookies acquired' 

He cracked a smile, knowing that his friend was really looking forward to bringing cookies to this security conference. Tony quickly replied, simply saying that he was looking forward to the cookies and that he will meet up with Sam once he gets to DC. Closing his trunk, he watched Pepper's silver Mercedes drive off as a raindrop fell onto his face. 

Swearing to himself, he jogged over to the awning to cover himself up before it began to downpour. He looked at his watch once he set his bag down and saw that his flight doesn't leave for another three hours. He groaned. Of course Pepper would lie to him about his departure time so that he got there super early. 

Around him, people ran inside to shelter themselves from the starting storm. Tony stayed outside, enjoying the oncoming humidity knowing that he will be spending about an hour on a stuffy plane. He took notice of a few people waiting to be picked up by a taxi or their loved ones. Tony heard a tired voice emitting from behind a nearby pillar. The voice seemed vaguely recognizable to him and he racked his mind, trying to remember where he has heard that voice before. He stepped back a bit, seeing a familiar blonde figure sitting down on the concrete with his back leaning against the pillar. His voice was growing more frustrated while he was talking on his phone. 

Tony frowned a bit. Wasn't this the guy from the bar? The man sitting down hung up his phone and stuffed it back into his jeans. His white shirt clung to him, slightly damp from the rain. _Not that bad looking_ , Tony thought to himself as the man ran his hand through his short blonde hair, some of it falling back onto his forehead. 

He continued to watch the stranger in front of him. It's not like he saw an attractive man in a vulnerable state in public everyday. Of course Tony's had his fair share of men in his lifetime, as well as women. His breath stopped for a moment as the man raised his eyes and met his. The man gave a small, uncertain smile and looked away just as fast. 

No, this would not be a one-night stand. This man in front of Tony has been through hell. He could see that in his deep blue eyes. Those eyes that hide what really is going on inside his head. 

Tony made up his mind. 

"Having a bad day?" he asked. He noticed that the man jumped a bit once he heard Tony speak. Tony noticed that the blonde pulled out a sketchbook from his bag and was drawing something along the lines of a monkey on a unicycle. _Interesting..._

The man waited a moment before speaking. "I guess you could say that." 

Tony smiled to himself, shuffling a bit closer to the man. "Want to talk about it? I know sometimes telling your problems to strangers helps. Trust me, I would know." The man looked at him, a bit of confusion shown on his face while Tony flashed him a smile. The man stayed silent. 

Okay, plan B. 

"Let's start with names. I'm Tony." Tony held down his hand to the sitting blonde man, who hesitantly reached up. "

Steve." 

Tony grabbed his hand, taking note of the firm grip Steve gave him, despite the slight twitching. They released each other, soon falling into a silence that was along the lines of being awkward, yet slightly comforting. Tony crouched down next to Steve, pointing to his sketchbook. 

"Mind if I take a look?" 

"Actually, yes I do." Steve immediately closed his sketchbook, becoming a bit more reserved towards him. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Tony said, looking into Steve's eyes, showing the other man that he truly was sorry. Steve smiled a bit and put his sketchbook away into his bag. 

"It's fine, really. I just get self conscious around strangers is all, especially when it comes to my artwork." 

"Well, we know each other's names. I don't think that makes us strangers, Steve." Tony smiled widely. "Okay, so I better be going. Got a flight to catch and all that jazz." Steve looked a bit crestfallen when he said this. He pulled out his wallet and grabbed one of his calling cards. "Don't be so down, sunshine. Here's my card, so call me at any time. After all, we're friends now." Tony held out the card, which Steve took with a look of joy written on his face. 

Before Steve could say anything, Tony got up and went into the airport building, only looking back to give him a wave. 

T ony smiled to himself. 

So, that went better than anticipated. He just hoped that Steve did call him. He wanted to know more about him. Why was he drawn to this man he just met? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve frowned a bit as Tony walked away, confusion surrounding him as he waved to him before fully disappearing from Steve's sight. He looked down at the card in his hands, smiling to himself. _Tony Stark... Independent Mechanical Engineer..._ To think that this guy he just met actually cared and gave him his phone number. He actually cared. 

Why would a total stranger be interested in him? Maybe Tony did all of that out of pity. 

Nonetheless, Steve felt different. Like, he found something he has been missing for god knows how long. 

He would do anything to feel whole and this man, Tony Stark, seemed to be the answer. If only Steve knew what the question was...


End file.
